The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice —
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do —
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver ~

(Dream Work)

18 Self-Healing Exercises

We all have the capacity to generate healing in our own lives and to help others to do the same. Are you ready to experience the benefits of energy healing? We invite you to select whichever category on the right is most interesting to you, and jump right in to explore this fascinating field.

The first section, Working with the Life Force, begins with two foundational relaxation exercises where you will be introduced to the flow of energy in your body and how to work with it to stimulate healing and combat stress and fatigue.

Breath, Prana, and Qi

•   1. The Relaxing Breath– Andrew Weil
•   2. Yoga Relaxation– Shiva Rea

The next section on Energy Medicine Exercises awakens your subtle energy body through powerful practices involving the chakras, including a daily energy routine you can do each day to infuse your life with clarity and vitality.

Chakras, Meridians, and Aura

•   3. A Tour of the Chakras– Anodea Judith
•   4. Chakra Healing– Cyndi Dale
•   5. A Morning Chakra Exercise– Caroline Myss
•   6. Purification and Balancing– Layne Redmond
•   7. Five Minute Daily Energy Routine– Donna Eden
•   8. Matrix Energetics– Richard Bartlett

Our Sound Healing section introduces three practices which give you a first-hand experience of the unique power of sound to connect you with deep levels of healing and transformation.

Sound Healing

•   9. Chanting the Chakras– Layne Redmond
• 10. Self-Healing with Sound and Music– Andrew Weil and Kimba Arem
• 11. Vocal Toning the Chakras– Jonathan Goldman

The next section on Using the Hands for Healing provides an effective exercise for tuning into the innate healing powers which exist right in your very own hands. By learning how to activate our hands for healing, we prepare ourselves to bring forth powerful energies of transformation.

Using the Hands for Healing

• 12. Your Healing Hands– Jack Angelo

Guided Imagery and Visualization includes five simple, yet transformative exercises, each of which opens a doorway into a more awake and alive experience of life. 

Guided Imagery and Visualization

• 13. Imagery for Self-Healing– Martin Rossman
• 14. Healing Lake Meditation– Jon Kabat-Zinn
• 15. Combating Energy Vampires– Judith Orloff
• 16. Meditation for Pain Relief– Shinzen Young
• 17. Color and healing– Laura Alden Kamm

We conclude with Soul-Level Healing where you will learn to enter the "non-ordinary reality" of the shaman. As a part of this journey, you will discover useful information and ways of healing that are not ordinarily available in the normal waking state.

Soul-Level Healing

• 18. Intro to Shamanic Journeying– Sandra Ingerman

I love this post by The Urban Monk. In particular I enjoyed his move towards self-compassion both in the present moment and with the part of us from our past that feels triggered by the present moment.

In Focusing we might turn towards ourselves, as a first step, and say hello to what is there holding the space with a quality of empathic curiosity.

In NVC we might sense for the unmet needs which are our values that are not being met in this situation.

I also relish that he has drawn my attention to how much of my present moment emotional experience is part of an ongoing stream from my past.

Mindful observation of the present experience can help me “not add more to my story” and saying hello and empathically connecting with the nature of my energy stream from the past can help me heal and move forward from a needs met energy.

Please enjoy and then go check out his blog. It’s worth subscribing to.

About this talk

Why do people succeed? Is it because they’re smart? Or are they just lucky? Neither. Analyst Richard St. John condenses years of interviews into an unmissable 3-minute slideshow on the real secrets of success.

About Richard St. John

A self-described average guy who found success doing what he loved, Richard St. John spent more than a decade researching the lessons of success — and distilling them into 8 words, 3 minutes…

[ted id="70"]

Swiss psychologist Alice Miller wrote:

“Ultimately the body will rebel. Even if it can be temporarily pacified with the help of drugs, cigarettes or medicine, it usually has the last word because it is quicker to see through self-deception than the mind. We may ignore or deride the messages of the body, but its rebellion demands to be heeded because its language is the authentic expression of our true selves and of the strength of our vitality.”

This is a very powerful statement. Our true sense of self is rooted, not in ideas or thoughts, but in a “feeling of what happens” that is experienced at a bodily level.

Because this statement is so powerful, I also want to be careful to point out what it doesn’t mean. It doesn’t negate the value of ideas and rational thinking. This would be absurd. It’s just that, if we were to only pay attention to logical thinking, we’d be cutting ourselves off from a major portion of our resources. Our goal is to combine both.

This is the power of Focusing. We can take an issue that we are thinking about, a feeling or an emotion, a situation and sense inwardly all about how our body holds this too. We come into balance in the considering of all the data that is entering our field of awareness. If we just “think” and use logic then we become top-heavy. All of our energy stays in our head. If we just follow feelings we can become blown about by emotions which come and go, we can start to believe we are our feelings and we lose our stability. If we combine all 3 ways we are designed to process information we become stable. It is like the process of “triangulation”. The term triangulation originated in cartography where two or more reference points are used to locate an exact position.

Most of us spend so much time thinking about our problems and some of us spend time overwhelmed by the our feelings about our problems  that almost forget to be in touch with how our body is carrying the issue. Sometimes thinking and feeling don’t even connect to each other. have you ever been dissuaded from feeling a certain way through the power of logical arguments – or does that just leave you feeling unheard, invalidated or labelled as emotional.

The felt meaning your body carries enables you to listen to the story within that, at the same time, needs to be told and heard, by you. This is your own story. This is the key to Focusing and is what Gene Gendlin found was an important clue that unlocks the mystery of how change happens in people.

He discovered that:

Our bodies hold the key to transformation

when we can allow

the felt meaning to unfold

and tell its story.

Emotions such as fear, anger, confusions are just the easily-recognised tip of how our bodies carry felt meaning. Your issue speaks like a story by moving forward in the changing body feeling of it.

Connecting with care and curiosity to our own story as it is known by our living body connects us to our own inner wisdom. We become both the author, the reader and the listener to our experience. And it is through the felt meaning held in our body that we are able to move beyond (yet still include) our minds (ego, will, pre-written story lines, and inner critics) and our emotions (moveable and reactive) to a more stable place within that can lead us to an undivided life of self-trust, self-respect and self-connection.

Ooohh…today I was asked to contribute ideas to a workshop on “difficult conversations” and my first thought was, “Well, I’d really rather not have any of them thank you very much!”

What I really meant was:

“I’d rather not deal with the difficult feelings that come up in me when I have to face situations that I am not comfortable with.”

Hmmm. In the Focusing world they have a phrase for this.

Process Skipping.

It is a long standing pattern we have of relating to the more negative part of ourselves (remember the Jell-O parts). The difficult part is realising that these old and difficult feelings we treat as enemies are, in fact both friends and teachers! No, its true! And it is possible to come into a new, kinder relationship with ourselves instead of making war inside – holding chronic kinds of tension around relationships, situations, issues, self-judgments and circumstances.

Each of us usually develops a pattern of numbing our difficult feelings. We might exercise, we might drink, watch TV, work long hours, play computer games, talk on the telephone. This, actually, takes us away from ourselves, which seems like a good thing if we are feeling guilty, scared, angry, annoyed, confused etc. Or we might go outside of ourselves to find the solution. We might talk to someone, defer to advice of elders, counsellors, meditate into deeply relaxed states and so on.

We don’t process-skip deliberately. It’s kind of automatic. But you can ask yourself:

How, precisely, do I avoid, numb, or run away from my difficult feelings?

What to do?

However, Gene Gendlin, who developed Focusing says that while the “mind” looks for a “solution” to a problem, our body actually looks for a ‘resolution”. We can find the resolution by spending time with how our body carries this issue in a Focusing kind of way. So, “difficult or uncomfortable” feelings hold the key to resolving the recurring issues in our lives. They hold the key.

The possibility for change and growth  lies not with emotion reactions, but in your body’s  more connected sense of meaning, its Felt Sense, to any given situation or part of yourself. We stay with the Felt Sense of the situation which may show itself to us as a metaphor, an image, a feeling, a shape, a sound, a colour. A felt sense is not just an emotion. Anger, happiness, sadness, fear – these are emotions. But what is under those emotions? What more lies there?

Have you ever tried to talk yourself out of the something that lies under the emotion and found it answering back – like it has a life of its own? We can, by attending to it, let it reveal itself to us. We let it show us what it knows all about this situation and how to resolve this issue. We hold a new kind of conversation with our body.

Our body can only know something is wrong by feeling uncomfortable because it instinctively knows what is perfectly right for us. Our job is to learn how to listen, listen again and trust in its embodied wisdom.

I am hearing so much talk about the how tough times are getting. Underneath all of this talk is a subtle message about reining in our lives: our spending, our expectations, our lifestyles.

However I say NO! Let’s look at this differently. Rather than shrinking we can THRIVE!

No, I’m not advocating new age positive affirmations that will miraculously turn your life around if you say them often enough, loud enough and with great gusto.

Neither am I advocating wildly ignoring the environment around us. We probably will know people who will experience the harsh reality of job displacement or retrenchment, loss of a regular income and the related personal and relationship challenges that come with that.

BUT, what if we perceive 2009 as a year of recalibration rather than recession. This is an opportunity to REVIEW, RECOGNISE, RE-FOCUS, RELEASE, RE-SET & RE-CALIBRATE. We can review the highs and lows of 2008 exploring our journey and the meanings we have made from it. We can recognise where we expend our time and energy and how aligned that is to our what we really want. We can pay attention to what’s working – and what’s no longer serving us. We can re-focus on core essentials and strengths. These essentials give us pleasure, confidence, outcomes, joy and integrity. These are underpinned by our values which become our new focus and motivators.  We can release our blocks to action, our limiting beliefs clearing a way for the new and fresh to enter our lives. We can re-set our compass bearings setting a course which takes us to where we CHOOSE to go. We can consistently re-calibrate by committing to staying focused, paying attention to our daily intentions and actions through self-awareness and keeping an open mind to what needs changing or adjusting.

The biggest variable in how this year goes for you is

WHAT YOU DO!

Personal responsibility and taking action is going to be what makes the difference between a year you can celebrate and a year you may wonder what happened – it just slid by or a year you’d rather forget.

Now, I’m not saying that we, literally, bring everything into our lives by our thoughts. Nonsense. People don’t bring earthquakes, hurricanes, accidents, and the like upon themselves. No!

I am saying the only thing we are in control of  is our intentions, our reactions and being a living expression of our core values.

And by paying attention to these we can choose to have a certain quality of life, our inner life holds our bearings no matter what is going on with our outer-life. We can choose to have a certain quality of relationships  and we can choose to spend more time on the things that make us feel great. If we are doing things that seem unavoidable, like driving the kids to school we have the choice to explore ‘the how of doing that.”  We can choose to recognise the underlying value we are meeting (contributing to the kids well-being & safety for example), and from that place we can find plenty of ways to meet those values (form a group to share the driving, pay a teenager to escort the kids on the school bus, move closer to the school so they can walk etc.)

The bottom line is we only have 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.  How do we  spend them? How do you want to spend them?

How are you spending them now? What percentage either brings you joy or meets your values?

Curious about how to thrive not survive in 2009?

1. REVIEW

What was great? Mapping the peaks & valleys of 2008. Find meaning in what happened.

2. RECOGNISE

What are you already saying “yes” to? What are your “yes” opportunities?  What can you say “no” to? Where is your energy being drained or displaced? Where are you expending your time and energy? How much of your time and energy is actually supporting your deepest values and aspirations?

3. RE-FOCUS

What do you want to focus on? Strengthen your strengths through identifying your core values and deepest passions.

4. RELEASE

What do you need to let go of in order to allow the entry of the new? Beliefs? Relationships? Busyness? Habits? Explore and embrace your blocks to transformation. When we listen to ourselves with non-judgmental curiosity what one always finds at the bottom of the barrel is precious life-going-forward energy.

5. RE-SET

Reset your compass bearings for thriving. Making choice-full-conscious decisions for self-care and growth. Once you’ve listened to all the concerns and worries of any specific inner voice then you can begin to listen for what that voice, that part, does want – what it’s passionate about. Experience the sense of wholeness and ease that comes when your joy and passion for living are lined up with the intentions that hold your hopes and dreams.

6. RE-CALIBRATE

Practice a simple technique for consistently checking in with what your body knows about how you are tracking; for me this is Focusing, for you it might be mediation, listening to your inner voice while watching the ocean, surfing, running, dancing. Learn to re-calibrate with sensitivity not reactivity, building your capacity for self-empathy, self-trust and emotional resilience.

Thriving is a choice for life ~ your life.

Urban Monk recently posted a reader discussion question asking “What is spirituality?”. 

Here is my response, coming spontaneously, sensing into my living experience of it without drafting and editing.

For me, spirituality, is a verb not a noun. It is a paradoxical process of becoming. In order to let go we need to embrace. For example, in order to let go of resentment we need to embrace it with a tender, loving care, come to understand it, sense for its point of view, then it lets go of whatever it is holding onto.

My sense of spirituality is that is not just “the path” either. So far,my main pathways have been my Buddhist practice, Byron Katie (for wonderful and eye-opening reality checks)but most of all Focusing. Through Focusing I come into an intimate,caring, observant relationship with my inner landscape. I can process new living experiences and allow old material to unfold and heal without feeling like I am forcing the process. Through Focusing (www.transformative.com.au) I am increasingly in touch with my own inner wisdom and my self-care and self-trust is growing.

That said, I trust there are an unlimited number of paths which lead to the same place. The place where we feel at ease with ourselves, neither enmeshed nor disconnected. Where we see things as they are and not through the singular filters of our mind thereby morphing the world to fit our story and beliefs. The place where our well-being is as important and no more important than anyone else’s. The place where we honour all life and the world in which we live and our body-mind is open and awake, resilient and vulnerable, intuitive and logical, restful and alert, compassionate and wise.

And, “this place” has the quality of flow. We flow and are in the flow. We connect to the flow of life and it flows through us and to us.

Genuine new beginnings emerge from a realignment of ways of looking at the world and a renewal of energy.  We often look for external signs to guide us into a beginning, but our inner attitudes toward life, our renewed self-knowledge and our intuition are really the hallmarks of our new beginnings. 

Staying on course

By relying on our inner voice to tell us where to go in life, we are likely to have more motivation than if we were to depend on the traditional expectations provided to us by others. 

Each day is an opportunity to check the alignment of our new beginning, to bring awareness of what is manifesting in our lives.  If we fail to do this, sooner or later we may inadvertently find ourselves reverting to our old ways of living or wondering how we wandered off course with no real awareness of doing so.

This process of checking-in and micro-adjusting our intentional choices to our our ongoing living experience will  depend on whether or not we can bring the Witness or Observer to bear on our continuing experiencing  and the quality of Presence we bring to our checking-in.
 

Trusting your Inner Voice through Focusing

In Focusing there’s a flow of awareness. What we can sense is how it is now. Yes, that includes the "now" of the past, our memories and the reactions of parts of us to what happened before. And it changes in response to each moment of our living while remaining aligned to our inner truths or essence. 

 
But I hear more than one Voice in there you say. I hear the voice that says do it, the voice that says you should be careful, the voice that says this is the wrong this to do.

We have many voices in us, and they can be in competition to be the one we act on. This can sometimes feel like an argument or even a war inside. These competing voices are often driven by fear, worry, and anxiety — and there can be a strong inner pressure to do what they say – and this can lead to a sense of overwhelm, disappointment or even the paralysis of procrastination because the voices might be advocating different steps or actions. Something just doesn’t feel right and there doesn’t seem to be a sense of ease.  And, of course, this would not be the inner sense of rightness that we talk about in Focusing.

These warring parts are what Barbara McGavin and Ann Weiser-Cornell call "Partial Selves," and they arise from an attempt to resolve a situation of trauma, blockage, or missing-ness. Because they are only  partial, they are not going to be able to bring about the resolution they seek—yet they do need to be listened to. But when I say they need to be listened to, I do not mean that we should act on them!

We need to ground ourselves firmly in Presence or our Inner Witness and listen deeply to what they’re afraid of and what they truly want for us – we need to hear their positive intent and let them know we have heard that is how it is – for them. One by one we listen to each partial self. Their energy eases up when they get heard. This leads to an inner calming that clears the way for the inner sense of rightness to be heard. Just saying hello to each voice-acknowledging their fear, anxiety etc can bring us into a clearer space and from this space we can sense the next right step.

This next step, sensed from a clear space after listening to our inner voices will feel fresh, intuitively supportive and a relief. The body knows the just right micro-adjustment if we listen.

Just 2 more thoughts…

We each need to let our intuition guide us, and then be willing to follow that guidance, directly and  fearlessly.

Shakti Gawain

I feel there are two people inside me – me and my intuition. If I go against her, she’ll screw me everytime, and if I follow her we get along quite nicely.

Kim Basinger

What a fabulous idea by Diane at the Healing Library.

Six-Word Memoirs

Posted: 24 Jan 2009 11:31 AM CST

Because sometimes less is better?

Six-word memoirs can be found in a book, Not Quite What I Was Planning.  They can also be found on the website of Smith Magazine where you are invited to submit your own six words.  But I think the best place to first encounter this concept may be at the NPR site where you can watch a slide show of twenty-eight memoirs, all excerpted from the book and paired with photographs and drawings.

Consider these—(three of my own favorites)—

Never really finished anything, except cake.  by Carletta Perkins
Nothing profound, I just sat around.  by Daniel Rosenburg
Naively expected logical world.  Acted foolishly.  by Emily Thieler

So many possibilities.
Doesn’t this make you want to play around with writing your own six-word memoir?

***********************************

Mine?

Fought with anger. Lost in irony.

Sought peace. Found acceptance. Everything ok.

Born short. Grew shorter with age.

Only 5 foot tall. Felt six.

Always more. Loves the last word.