http://transformative.com.au/blog/2010/01/crucial-conversations-part-4-the-role-of-apologies-contrasting-to-keep-the-conversation-going/ choice-full-conscious living Tue, 18 Oct 2011 12:30:30 +1100 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 hourly 1 http://transformative.com.au/blog/2010/01/crucial-conversations-part-4-the-role-of-apologies-contrasting-to-keep-the-conversation-going/comment-page-1/#comment-932 Crucial Conversations ~ Part 7 ~ Be persuasive not abrasive Fri, 05 Feb 2010 03:35:43 +0000 http://transformative.com.au/blog/2010/01/crucial-conversations-part-4-the-role-of-apologies-contrasting-to-keep-the-conversation-going/#comment-932 [...] Tell your story. First check your facts again. Then check if you are going to tell a victim or villain or helpless story. Revisit your story. What is important for you? What values or needs are up here? For example, are you needing connection, autonomy, support, clarity, safety? As you share your story notice how the other person is responding. If they are withdrawing (looking away, looking down) or becoming defensive (folding arms, tapping, trying to interrupt) you may need to re-establish safety by contrasting. [...] [...] Tell your story. First check your facts again. Then check if you are going to tell a victim or villain or helpless story. Revisit your story. What is important for you? What values or needs are up here? For example, are you needing connection, autonomy, support, clarity, safety? As you share your story notice how the other person is responding. If they are withdrawing (looking away, looking down) or becoming defensive (folding arms, tapping, trying to interrupt) you may need to re-establish safety by contrasting. [...]

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