Just feel it – from the inside

  Lately I have been trying a new way of being with myself when I experience a sudden or unexpected change in feelings. This change in “my feelings” may come from either a pleasant or an unpleasant experience.

Instead of following my habitual patterns of:

• telling myself a story about what is happening, &/or
• immediately looking to name the feelings &/or
• trying to work out what need is behind the feelings

I try something new. I try just breathing into the experience – wherever that is located in my body.

I bring as much awareness as I can to where I can feel this experience: in my heart or perhaps in my guts, or perhaps in my frown and tightening facial muscles or in my lungs constricting. I just notice my body sensations. I bring as much attention as I can to these sensations – really putting my consciousness just there.

Then, I breathe into the sensations. I allow air to flow into and around each sensation. I notice my breath coming into my body and then flowing to where I can feel the strongest sensation. I do not give the sensation a label or attach it to an emotion. I do this deliberately even though words my cross my mind. I simply stay with my breathing, with the sweet flow of air. I begin to notice finer and finer sensations. I do not label these with words either – though, again, words my streak across my mind.

I feel the receptive sensitivity of the physical sensations as the air moves around. I notice what shifts and moves with a gentle curiosity but I still just stay with the finest of detail rather than starting to analyse and nail down what this experience is with words.

And then I get it. I hit the sweet spot. I connect to my heart. I am open and available to myself. There is such tenderness in this linguistically-free connection. Heart connection is not the words. It is the sensitivity of simply being-with.