Sources of Conflict: Who saw what?

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.

After a good meal and a bottle of wine they bunked down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his friend.

 

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions upon millions of stars.”

“So what does that tell you?” asked Sherlock.

Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a minute and then spoke. “It tells me someone has stolen our tent!”

What’s meaning do YOU make from this story? Do you have one just like it? How often have you had those kind of conversations where you and a friend seemly experienced the same event but perceived it differently?

Two things come up for me:

• the power of clear observations – what actually happened?
• hearing how the other person perceives what happened – what story or meaning did they attach to the events?

In NVC we would invite you to consider the value in making clear observations. Clear observations describe events as if a camera had recorded it, and in doing so, can help us find points of agreement. I have written about these in my blog – if you want to know more about observations and how they can bring more clarity and reduce conflict in your life then just type observations into the search box and start practising.

I read this story on Tammy Lenski’s blog ConflictZen. If you know the original source, we’d both appreciate learning it.