Transforming intense feelings

If you are into NVC you may enjoy subscribing to Rick Goodfriend’s World Empathy day tips.

I love this video about accepting just how we are. I love the space it gives to what is coming up inside without trying to change it too quickly.

It gives us a chance to sense for what more is there under the first feeling that comes. For example, when I feel angry, a vulnerable scared part is usually there too, but at first it might not feel safe for that part to come out into my awareness.

In Focusing we first say hello and acknowledge what is present.

My tip  is– if accepting feels too hard – to start by:

• saying hello to what is present then
• bear witness to it – for example you might say- “I am bearing witness to feeling angry”.  Or “I am keeping my anger company”. After saying this a few times you may notice that you can sense a subtle distinction between you and the anger. You are not just your feelings and yet your feelings exist within you. You can get a little space there.
• Then, when a release comes you might go on to “accepting what is”.

This process transforms intense feelings and also gives our heart a little space to be with our suffering – neither denying nor suppressing the suffering nor “becoming the suffering”. If we can hold our own suffering compassionately it becomes more possible and even delightful to offer the same quality of holding, bearing witness and accepting the suffering of others.

Greetings World Empathy Day Celebrants:

Celebrate World Empathy Day on Wednesdays, a day of increased consciousness for  compassion, communication, understanding and forgiveness. Welcome to new participants.  Please forward
this tip to interested friends, family, and peers to help WEday expand.

WEday Tip # 101 - Transforming Intense Feelings Before Communicating Them !! !

One of the most difficult communication skills is expressing ourselves
honestly  and with compassion, especially if upset . Here is a tip to make that skill easier.

Yes, accept the moment for what it is. Before expressing to another
person, accept the situation or the emotions that are present .  This will help calm any nervousness, fear, anger … before communicating with another.

Example:
Someone has not emailed me back the information I requested. It has
been a week. My thinking is full of judgments. I want to call them and
express what is going on with me, the disappointment, the
consideration for my time, the ease of having this information …

Using this tip, I accept what is
I accept what is, the information isn’t here, yes, I accept that I am upset, I
acknowledge this feeling and say I accept  it , (4 times)

Already I am calming and become more present.  I am now ready to take action (compassionately). 

Try this tip in this way? Transform your emotions
Take some of your emotions and focus on  them, and say  to yourself   ” I accept this emotion  __________  as being present now. “  

Process one feeling at a time and say it 3 – 5 times slowly.      
Does the intensity diminish?

If you have time, let me know how this works for you.

May all your needs be met.

Rick Goodfriend
Founder – World Empathy day
805 898-9336
www.empathyday.com