I have been putting off answering an enquiry about procrastinating for about 10 days now. I have a whole bunch of good excuses for not writing sooner:
- too busy
- not sure what to write
- too much to write
- got distracted
Speaking from my experience I find that when I procrastinate it is time for me to slow down and start to listen to what is going on inside. I could be procrastinating for any number of reasons:
- fear of getting started – the project feels too big
- fear of failure – paralysis of perfection
- fear of finishing the project – what will happen when this is over
- not really understanding what it is I need/want to do
- not really getting this isn’t what I really want
- and so the list could go on
What I am saying here is that whatever advice I might give is only drawn from my experience. Each person has their own reasons to procrastinate and the stopped movement around that lies in them. Focusing can help us with this. Focusing is like a conversation with our own body – we listen respectfully to all of our “selves”.
The part that wants us to get going, “Why don’t you just get started!”
The part that wants to understand what is going on, “Why is this difficult for us – can we sit down and talk about this please.”
The part that has some solutions, “Look, just take the first little step, and if you make a list and do one thing and at time, and…”
The part that says, “You can start that tomorrow, take it easy today, get some fresh air and when you feel better it will be easier to get going.”
We can give each of these space to be heard, we can acknowledge that they have something to contribute to our life. One may want to keep us safe, one may want us to explore new areas, one may want us to experience feeling competent, one may want us to have some ease and rest, one may want us to feel the satisfaction of a completion. And so on…
When each of these parts of us has contributed to our inner conversation then procrastination is actually no longer an issue. The situation at hand comes to a natural resolution and a solution that feels just right for you – generated from your life experience, congruent with your character and your needs – manifests naturally; not one that is pre-packaged for a mass market.
Focusing – listening to your own inner wisdom – can be learned and then utilised for any block to action, for any query, concern, puzzle, dilemma, decision, and even day-to-day reflection on what’s been going on. Learning Focusing usually only takes about 6 hours of one-to-one coaching (or a 2 day course – go to www.focusing.org for your local trainer) and is a lifetime resource you have at your fingertips anytime, anywhere. Sometimes, we can Focus on something big in our lives using a Focusing partner or guide and other times, we just take a tiny moment, to check in, and then get some clarity, making calmer and easier in-the-moment choices and decisions.
However, in the meantime here are 2 blogs I recommend which write around this topic:
http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/topics/procrastination
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